


Your Tears Wont Make Your Coffee Taste Better, Riley.

by lenzisaslut



Series: Soldier Boyfriends [1]
Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gary has anxiety, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Past Rape/Non-con, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Hatred, Self-Loathing, Simon Hates Himself, Slow Burn, They talk, also Gary's new and his other nickname is gazzy, fight mee, there are background ships too, uwu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 19:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19482298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lenzisaslut/pseuds/lenzisaslut
Summary: In which: Simon hates himself and feels like he's not good enough for the task force. However, his beloved bug begs to differ.





	Your Tears Wont Make Your Coffee Taste Better, Riley.

Simon huffed as he nursed his steaming fresh coffee, eyes puffy. Black, two sugars, just how he liked it. "Si?" A small, tired voice croaked in the darkness. The noirette jumped, spilling coffee over the back of his hand and scolding the scarred skin. "Bug?" The brit rasped, quickly clearing his throat as he quickly turned to his friend. The blondie was rubbing sleep from his left eye like a child and the other soft blue eyes was concerned. That was his bug, always worrying over people. Simon noticed his adorable sleep wear, an oversized, long-sleeved, black t-shirt (which he probably stole) and grey sweatpants. "Are you here to take your meds?" The brit tried to get the concern off of him. "At 3 am? No chance. I was actually trying to sleep." The Cali boy lowered his arm to cross his arms. "What's bothering you, Si?" He asked softly. "Stop being a good person and worrying about people, it's making me feel bad." Simon laughed, ignoring how bad the truthful comment made him as he went to push past the smol American. 

"Woah, not so fast, dude. You're not going anywhere until you talk to me." The minuscule blonde blocked his path. He was plankton compared to mr krabs or something. "Nothings bothering me bug." Simon tried. "You've been crying. It may be dark, but i'm not blind." Gary crossed his arms again. "I'm just tired, bug. Leave me be." Simon went to push past again, but a gentle hand on his chest stopped him. "I heard you crying, Simon." He said softly. "Don't worry, you're secret sob sessions at 3am are safe with me. At least if they do spread around I can say you're not an ugly cryer at least." He gave a lopsided grin. "Fuck. Nothing gets past you does it, Gazzy." Simon huffed, taking a sip of his coffee. "Nope, now park your ass on that couch and speak to me." Gary's grin turned to a soft smile as he lead the Brit over to the old couch of the living room-type thing they had (the author doesn't know what to call this lmao).

"So, what's bothering you, Mr. Riley?" Gary asked, slinging his legs over Simon's lap and leaning his head on the back of the couch, not letting his soft ocean eyes leave Simon's hazel ones. "I... I feel like i'm a bad person- no... I know i'm a bad person, Gazzy. I can't protect my team... Can't protect, well.... You..." Simon sighed as he ran a hand over his face. Gary's eyes widened at the sentence, head lifting from the couch, cheeks heating up as they often did over almost every time he was spoken about. Why is Simon always keen on protecting him? "B-but you do help the team! Si, you're an amazing asset to our task force. Hell, you've saved my ass plenty of times, and i'm so so grateful for it." Gary smiled, grabbing Simon's free hand. It was the Brit's turn to flush red. Simon shook his head.

"Hey, if you don't believe me, ask the captains. They also know that you're an amazing soldier that always puts his team first." Gary scanned Simon's face for an expression other than sorrow. What was he looking for? Relief? He didn't know, just anything other than Simon looking miserable. He hated it when his crushes were sad. "You don't know me. The real me. Before I joined the army, I was... A right arsehole... I regret it almost everyday... It was my mother, she put every hour of the day into caring for me, and I shut her out, swore at her... I-..." He froze when his voice cracked. "That's the past, Si. You're a man in the military, you've redeemed yourself and i'm sure she's proud of you. Hell, the past was shit for a lot of people, I mean look at my past." Gary smiled. "I don't know much about your past... If you don't mind sharing...?" Simon looked at the blonde, finally. "Hey, you shared yours, its only fair if I share mine..." Gary mumbled as he itched his clean shaven jaw. 

"I dabbled in a lot of drugs, heroin, coke, weed, hell even LSD at one point. I developed such a bad anxiety disorder, which is why i need to take my pills. I was in a lot of trouble with dealers for not paying properly, one of which was my own fucking brother, and they'd uh... They'd... God it's so fucked up." Gary scrubbed his own eye. "What did they do?" Simon asked softly, he didn't want to pry, he thought they were being open. Of course, if Gary was persistent on not sharing, he'd back off. "They... Uh. It's hard talk about, but I guess it we're being open. Just.., As long as you don't talk about it...?" Gary looked over at him. "I won't if you won't." Simon shrugged as he took another long sip from his coffee. Gary changed his position so he could cozy up to Simon, once again, that was his bug. As cuddly as ever... 

"They... Drugged me... Non-consensually actually, and uh... Took advantage of me whilst I was out of it." Gary whimpered quietly at the thought of his experience. Simon choked on his coffee. "Jesus, Gary. That's so fucked up." Simon mumbled as he wrapped a strong arm around the American to comfort him. "Listen, bug. I need fucking names, because i'm gonna murder them." He said, half-joking, half-serious. "They're in jail, where they belong. The idiots accidentally OD'd me and ditched me on a road, where I was eventually found by my adoptive dads when they were driving home from a boring tea party they were invited to. I was about to die, and honestly, I was accepting my fate then and there." Gary whispered, leaning into Simon a little more. "What about your actual parents?" Simon asked, hesitant he'd push a sensitive button, as Gary was a sensitive kid to be honest. "Died. Car accident. It happened the day I was born, my brother, being 19, had to take me in apparently. I was almost never fed, had to learn how to fend for myself by myself, took myself to school from a young age... It was horrible. Gotta keep your guard up and tongue sharp in that area." Gary mumbled. "That would explain your amazing comebacks and how you are actually really good in a fist fight." Simon tried to lighten the mood. Now he felt like an asshole for pushing and making Gary upset. "Look, all i'm gonna say is that you're nothing like those dicks. You're a good person, Si. One of the best I've ever met." Gary sat up, looking Simon dead in the eyes. He was serious. "And don't say, I don't know about that- You are nothing like those monsters that did those things to me. You, you're a worried person, you care but you hide it all behind a stoic expression. You push people away because you're afraid of hurting them. Listen dude, you don't need to do that. All of this is causing you to slack on the field as well." 

Simon let out a breathy laugh, "Fuck, you're observant." A soft hand rested on his red cheek, "I care, Simon." He smiled. "Thanks for sharing all of this with me, Gazzy. It was... Rather brave. I guess no one else other than home knows?" Simon smiled, putting his empty mug of coffee down as Gary shook his head. "No... Please don't tell anyone, either. I'll tell them when i'm ready." The two shared a smile, before looking away from each other like lovestruck teenagers, however the two both assumed this was getting awkward. 

Gary checked his phone for the time, 4:52 am. Jesus, how long were they talking for? "Christ, I'm exhausted." The smol blonde stretched. "Yeah..." Simon mumbled in response, checking the clock on the wall. "Thanks again. I feel, kinda better." Simon said, his tough accent on a soft voice sounder weird in his own ears. Gary only smiled, "No problem. Remember, i'm always in your corner, dude." Gary smiled as they got up. Simon decided to abandon his poor comrade, Mug. Someone else would clean it up in the morning to get some sweet bean juice in them, his money was on MacTavish. 

"Hey, Riley?" Gary stopped in front of the door, Simon trailing after him. "Yeah, bug?" He asked as he once again waited for Gary to scoot out the door so he could get to bed, the coffee not managing to overpower his exhaustion. The American leant up on his tippy-toes, and pressed his soft but chapped lips against Simon's scarred, rough ones. It was brief, and made both their hearts flutter. As soon as the blonde pulled away, Simon had to chase him. His lips were like nicotine to Simon. Gary grinned and returned the Brit's kiss. Their lips were red and swelling slightly, Gary's more than Simon's, when they pulled away. "You're an amazing person." Gary winked, leaving and pulling off an amazing and impressive disappearing act. Simon was as chipper as ever as he headed to his own room. He entered quietly as to not wake Soap, despite the Scot being the heaviest sleeper alive.

Flopping down onto his bed, Simon grinned to himself like a teenage girl that had just been asked to prom by their dream man. "I'm so in love with that kid." The Brit sighed softly. 

Gary was practically squealing as he entered his room. Toad raised his head from his and Archer's shared bed, not very pleased with the rude awakening whilst his boyfriend stirred too. Whispering a 'sorry', Gary looked over to see Meat still fast asleep, snoring loudly and drooling all over his pillow, which he was spooning. He quickly snapped a photo to tease him with before getting into his own bed. He could only hope Simon was going to be in a better mood tomorrow.


End file.
